Ah, my fanfiction for Viewfinder fandom will be included in the fanbook the Yamane com. will send to Yamane Ayano. There were 15 slots for the fanfics and luckily, there are 15 submissions so we’ve all made it. The fanarts aren’t so lucky as they exceed the number of 15. Thus there’s a vote to decide which ones will be included in the fanbook.

WARNING
Kids, go away!
This is a yaoi fanfic, meaning a fic depicting homosexual relationships.
If the concept offends you, don’t clink on the link!

ATTENTION
Les gamins, débarrasez le plancher !
Ceci est une fanfic yaoi, c’est à dire une fiction dépeignant des relations homosexuelles.
Si le concept vous offense, ne cliquez pas sur le lien !

Title: Do I know…
Author: Lethalene

Fandom: Viewfinder
Pairing: Asami x Akihito
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Naked Truth 18
Disclaimer: Viewfinder and all its characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

I still don’t know… Is it because you were always my last hope every time my life was hanging by a thread? Is it because of the pleasure and pain you’ve forced me to crave? Is it because in the still of the night, I dream of you against my will?… I still don’t know.

I’m safe again, after all those days and weeks and months waiting for you to get me back. Did I ever doubt you’ll come for me? Did I ever wish to be surrounded by the warmth of your body so that I could be free?… I don’t know anymore.

“You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.”

He’s noticed! Of course he would notice. He notices everything about me. Anything. Just with a glance, he can tell if I’m sad or glad or mad or… How does he know?… Why don’t I know?

He doesn’t wait for my reply and calls the stewardess. I haven’t taken a bite since the exchange because the knot in my stomach won’t disappear, nor the constriction in my chest. I’m not trembling anymore like on the boat, when he held me to ease the aftershock. But there’s still this unease…

A woman places a few familiar Japanese dishes on my tray table. My heart aches for some reason and my eyes start brimming with tears. Asami refuses her offer to bring him another food tray so she returns to the cockpit.
The silence stretches out… until finally a muffled sob cracks the tenseness in the air. My tenseness.
A hand comes down on mine, strong and comforting. It squeezes my clenched fist.

“I… I…”

I don’t know what to say! I’ll be home in a few hours but why can’t I be happier? Why can’t I feel at ease like… like before all this happened? Why can’t I go back to my old self?… I don’t know what I am to you… I don’t know if I can be with you… If I can live up to your expectations… I… I…

“… don’t hate you.”

I can’t believe what has just slipped out of my mouth! Asami smiles. Not a smirk, nor a real smile, but one of those mysterious smiles of his that I’ve ignored until now in my inability to read them. He reaches for my chin and turns my head towards his. His lips approach my face, kiss my wet eyes. Slightly, he parts them and his tongue lazily licks away one salty drop after another, tracing them down to the corner of my mouth and whispering against my flushing skin.

“Akihito… (lick) Do you know… (lick) since our first encounter… (lick) I couldn’t tear my eyes off of you… (lick) Do you know… (lick) you belong with me…”

A spark of the old me is ready to yell at his face that I belong to no one. But a blossom of the present me catches suddenly a subtle new meaning. I close my eyes tight, not to shut him off from me, but to see him more clearly. Him and Me. Him with Me.
Slowly, my unease fades away from my stomach, chest and mind. Peaceful fatigue starts to weigh down on me. My tears have dried up by his last word. Now I press my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his clean soothing smell.

“Yes, I know,” I murmur so low I’m not sure he’s heard my reply. His lips brush lightly against my temple and I sigh in contentment. I can sense a smile shaping on his mouth though I don’t want to open my eyes and confirm it. Is it one of his smirks? A real smile? Or one of those mysterious smiles I’ll understand one day for sure…? I don’t know.
And who cares?

The End