Alright, done with Clover Doe’s oneshot. Like previously, it’s a first draft translation and I have no intention of working anymore on improving it. So if anyone wants to make revisions and some polishing, you’re welcome.
All info about where to read this story online or download the raws of the Béèlle magazine can be found in the French BL webzine post.
by Clover Doe
T/N: Read from left to right
TITLE: Sweet Home
Paper on blondie’s (b) forehead: I love you.
Paper on dark-haired guy’s (d) forehead: Liar…
BOTTOM: Clover Doe 2012
TITLE: Sweet Home
Clover Doe 2012
d: I’ll talk to him!
sfx: Pof! (“Plop”)
b: Regular as clockwork!
sfx: Tournicoti! (“Twist” or “Spin”)
d: I-I-I’m… I…!
(So you say I’m what??)
b: Welcome home…
d: G-G-Good evening…
text: Kinda spineless doormat.
TITLE: Sweet Home
b: Barely 2 weeks left…
b: … to finish this collective assignment and the others don’t do squat!
As for me, I don’t wanna flunk my semester!!
d: Can I?…
It makes me hungry…
b: Pff! Of course!
b: And you? I hope your day has been better!
Did your manager leave you alone today?
b: At any rate, you came back thus you didn’t throw him out the window!
d: It could be the ideal life…
A boyfriend nicely waiting for you at home…
d: who’s done the housework and the washing, cooked the meal, who has eyes only for you and is a cutie to boot.
sfx: Pouah!! (“Choke”)
b: By the way, there’s no more beer and egg!
d: Yeah, it could be the perfect plan…
d: if only I knew…
d: who’s this guy!!!
b: You’re spilling wine on your shirt. And red wine stains are a real bitch…
d: All I remember from last weekend…
patrons: Owner! 3 more!!
guy: Not every day is my B-day!!
So tonight, let it all hang out big time!!!
guys: *Bottoms up!*
d: And in the morning, inevitably…
d: Dude, you take up too much space!
d: Well, at least it looks like I’ve had…
a fun evening.
d: And a fun night as well.
d: *nice ass*
d: Pity all that’s left is a hangover…
sfx: Beuark!! (“Barf”)
[Author’s note: acohol abuse is not sexy!]
sfx: Scratch Scratch
d: I’m gonna chuck him out and sleep it off all day…
d: *Automatic sobering*
d: I’ve tried to remember!!!
That’s all I’ve done for four days!!!
b: You don’t like the dinner I’ve carefully cooked for you??
sfx: Sob! Sob! Sob!
d: It’s divine!
d: Apparently, I talked a lot!!!
Anyhow, in the morning…
d: it looked like I had given him reasons to believe that…
b: I was ready to do anything, the silliest thing for I was so miserable…
d: O-o-oh yeah?
b: Then you appeared.
b: I didn’t know people so… kind and wonderful did exist.
b: Me too, I love you…
d: He was there, staring at me with big loving eyes and talking about how I’d prevented him from screwing up and a night I don’t remeembeeer!!!
d: I couldn’t tell him to just pack up his shit and go!!
But it’s been 4 days since he’s settled in, acting like my man!! And the worst…
d: I don’t even know his name…
text: The worst loser on earth.
guy: Have you gone through his stuff??
His bag, wallet?!
d: I almost got caught!!
Aside: I’ll remember you and your fucking parties!!
d: I’ve even tried the cell phone trick!
guy: The cell trick?
d: Can you enter your number?
I’ve noticed that I don’t even have it! Haha!
d: I win!!
sfx: Tap! Tap!
b: Here you are!
d: “S-s-sweetheart honey babe???????”
b: I love it when you call me like this!!!
guy: Oh yeah!! You were way hammered!!! Hahahahaha !
Aside: You’re killing me! My sides are splitting! Hahahaha!
d: Aaargh! Shut up!!!
guy2: We arent’ worried! When you really get sick of it, you’ll throw him out!
In the meantime, you’ve got your little cutie to please you!
Aside: It’s not insignificant that you keep him!
d: My littl’ cutie…
I’m not saying he isn’t.
sfx: Pof! (“Plop”)
b: Always on time!
d: but this is getting me nowhere…
d: given that I’m not touching him!!!!
b: I hope you’re hungry.
I’ve prepared lots of good things!
d: Though it’s not that I’m not motivated!
d: W-wh-what kind of pants are these??!!!
b: This is going to give you lots of energy!!
b: Do you like it? I was afraid it’d be a little tight, hehe!
d: A little?? This is an indecency offence!!!
d: How would I be able to accept bonking him under these conditions?!! It’d be… I’d get the impression that I’m taking advantage of the situation and… Anyway, I can’t! That’s it!!!
(bottom of the panel and page)
d: How can I tell him now that this mess doesn’t make the littlest sense and that I’ve been faking from the start?! I can’t handle this anymore!!!!
(I never could!!)
(2 smaller panels on the bottom right)
b: You look worried… Let’s relax with a nice bath!
The two of us!!
text: Too much blood inflow!
guy1: You’re one big blockhead!!!!!!
Aside: It’s too hilarious! I’m gonna die!
sfx: Paf! Paf! (could be “Thump” or “Bam”, I’m not sure)
guy2: Nope! You’re too awesome!!!!!!
d: Go die.
d: Enough! Tonight, I’ll talk to him!
b: No, not yet.
b: And I told him to do the groceries.
b: This gives me a bit of time. Haaaa…
b: He’s as regular as a clockwork!
sign of the shop: Supermarché Pacher
T/N: Pacher is here considered as a name and doesn’t have any meaning as such. It is a wordplay with the French “pas cher” which means “cheap”. Thus the sign actually means “Cheap Supermarket”. Maybe, to keep that kind of wordplay, the sign adapted in English could be “Tcheep Supermarket”.
d: Listen, we need to talk…
d: There’s something we need to discuss…
d: I’ve got something super funny to tell you, sweethuuuh…
d: But how did I make such a mess of it on my own?… Haaa…
b: It’s cute that you worry for me, but…
b: you don’t have anything better to offer.
And I always get by very well!
I forgot to do the groceries.
b: Yeah, fine, OK. It all ended in tears last week!
But I’d rather have slept under a bridge than spent one more night there!
b: Fuck! To take pills at my age so as not to go limp when getting down to work!
And I must still have his fingernail marks on my back, in addition to bruises everywhere!
b: There’s more room here, it’s closer to uni and he’s adorable!
I’ve convinced him we’re going out together, hahaha!
Aside: Yeah, seriously!
b: Too bad — but I couldn’t have known — that he’s impotent…
Aside: Hm, honest…
Absolutely nothing. Yet I’ve tried!
Of course! He is gay! If not, then he’s even more of a wimp than I thought!
b: Well, geez… The point is to have a roof over your head!!
Aside: And I have to catch up on sleep!
background: impotent impotent impotent…
I’m gonna kick him out and bump him off! No, I bump him off then kick him out!!!
It doesn’t work either!!!!!!!!
(I’ll call you back soon!! G’bye:)
b: You’re already back!!
b: Welcome home, Love!
sfx: Chu (“Kiss”)
b: Did your manager give you again a hard ti…
d: Why don’t you quit the act…
b: O-o-oh ow…!
Don’t do that…
sfx: Squeeze hard!
d: Did YOU intend to stop…
b: Let go!… Nngh!
b: L-l-let me go…
d: your little game?!!
sfx: Bow! (“Bump”)
b: I tell you to let me go!! It fucking hurts!!!!
sfx: Hic! Hic! Hic!
caption: The face of pain!
b: Nnngh! Asshole!
d: I don’t give a fuck!
I’m bumping you off!!
b: Don’t fuck about!!!!
Aside: It was a case of self-defence!!!
d: I’ll cut you into slices!!!
Love! Don’t do something you’ll regret::
d: I ain’t your love, you damn freeloader!
d: And stop making me run!!
d: Don’t jump on the couch!!
sfx: Huf! Huf! Huf!
text (the author’s, maybe?): Haaa… my favorite cliché!
sfx: Huf! Huf! Huf!
b: What then?
d: You think it’s funny, right…
Aside: You have a screw loose, haven’t you!
b: Oh! For your information, you too have fun!
d: Mmm yeah…
You’d be only too pleased to see me getting worked up!
b: Let’s get off my back…
sfx: Flap! (or maybe “Flip”)
d: Ha! Ha! Ha!
b: and take care of your pleasure, then!
d: So far, you’ve been rather hopeless.
b: Hey! It’s not my fault if you’re not very quick to react!!
d: Neither is mine if you don’t know how to do it right.
Maybe you’re not as much of a turn-on as you think.
Aside: Still, it sure is enough for starving guys.
b: Very well, Mister Hard-to-Please!
b: Ha! Ha! Ha!
b: Let’s be fair.
b: If I don’t make you cum,
or if I cum before you…
b: I’ll collect my things,
b: and leave pronto.
b: I stay one more week!
d: Your bargain is not worth much of a rent!
b: It’s a deal…
b: fitting your demands!
d: Two days.
b: Renewable then!
d: Before, try not to end outside…
d: … this very evening!
b: Get ready instead…
b: to put up with me…
b: for a while longer!
d: What a blabbermouth!
d: Why wouldn’t you put your mouth to good use?
b: In a hurry?
b: You won’t hold out too long, tell me…
d: Now, don’t worry about that!
d: Not bad…
Maybe you’ll be able to sleep on the balcony with that.
b: Cool! All I need to do is reach the room…
I’m planning for myself a warm place between the sheets!
Aside: Among other things!
d: Or I can show you your one-way ticket to the door!
b: You stinky jackal!!!!
d: Oh yeah!
d: I love it when you call me that!
Aside: It sounds so much more natural!
b: I have loads like that if it’s your thing!!!!
d: Naaaaah! My thing, you must feel it better here…
d: We’ll talk again about my impotence afterwards! That is, of course, if it’s still necessary.
Aside: It really has rankled him. >u<
b: Th… th… this hold isn’t very standard, is it?!
d: It’s an anything-is-fair kind of game.
And it’s better this way, isn’t it?
sfx: Haaa! Haaa! Haaa! Haaa! (maybe “Gasp” or “Pant”)
b: Yeah… But…
b: Maybe not every which way at the same time!
Aside: Haaa… Shit!
d: Yet, seems that you like it pretty much.
sfx: It’s a bit hard to read what’s written. I’m not sure whether the French word is “remue” or something else. If it is indeed “remue”, then the meaning in English is “stir” or “wiggle”.
b: Slow d…
sfx: Ah! Ah! Aaah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
d: Fuck! You’re tight!
b: Ah! Shit!
sfx: Ah! Ah! Ha! Ha!
b: Why did you wait all week for this?
d: ’cause you’re an ass!
Aside: You and your tall stories!
And don’t you get on my nerves right now!
sfx: Ah! Ah!
Did the sound of my sweet voice make you cum??
d: In your dreams!
d: I just want to look at your pretty little face when I make you go off!
b: Then stop with the chatter.
b: Take me!
sfx: Chirp! Chirp!
guy: Under these conditions,
it’s worth losing this bet! You lucky dog!
sfx: Pom! (“Poke”)
d: You didn’t have to listen to Mr big shot bragging for one hour!
He played again on my heartstrings, that jerk!
guy2: You’re never satisfied!
guy3: My parents aren’t here tonight.
You want to come to my house?
b: That’s sweet of you!
b: But I’ve found a house! At least for the moment!
guy: You still haven’t told us!
guy: So, your freeloader, what’s his name?!
d: That punk is making a fool of me!
d: I really need to get rid of him.
d: Oh well… until I meet a good guy, for the time being, I’ll keep him…